On the other hand, my brother who was 7 years younger than me and was also ''light'' was scared driving through Washington DC right after the riots in the late 60's(he was 5). My guess is that I picked up on some of the unconscious tension that my parents felt living surrounded by white people (I ended up having to be taken out of the local public school in Massachusetts because of rather unwelcoming attitudes). This totally shocked my parents who had raised me in a mostly white environment and who had close friends (to this day) of European ancestry. I remember as a child of 5 saying to my parents that the ''reason'' that they liked my new sister better than me was because I was white and that they (my parents) didn't like white people! (my skin is much lighter than my parents and my sister - I inherited very light African-American features, including blonde highlights from 2 of my grandparents). In families where there is a range of skin colors (multi-racial families or ''brown/black'' families whose members have varying skin hues) I think it is very common for ''strange'' comments to be made at this age. Soon after, they realize that our society places differential value on various skin colors (regardless of WHAT is taught at home). Usually somewhere between 4-6 years old, kids realize that people have different skin colors. My sister Kelsey, all nine years old now, pointed out just last week that my child (I am expecting my first with my husband who is Chinese) will make our larger family look like a Model UN Committee. My family is a virtual rainbow of colors and ethnicities. I wouldn't be too worried, just listen and don't try and convince the child to accept their shunned identity. I think this is just how a child learns about identity and about themselves. I gave him examples of famous people who were half black and half white and he was fine. When people would comment on Austin's lovely skin color, he would announce that he was ''BROWN!'' and refused to accept that any part of him was black.Īfter about 7-months Kelsey totally forgot that she had even refused to play with her black Barbies and Austin came around after I told him that lots of people are a bit of this and a bit of that. She only wanted to play with white dolls and would ask if I could take her to get her hair done like mine. When Kelsey was five she wanted nothing to do with her black dolls and hated her ''black hair''. My 12 year old brother also had some indentity issues when he was about 8. My sister went through this when she was about five years old. ![]() They don't want to over-react but at the same time they want her to be proud of both of her races, etc. And if so, any suggestions for dealing with this? Another part of the issue is that my niece (and her younger brother) tend to pass as white (some/most of the time), which is another reason her comments have caused her parents to worry. Is this just a normal stage for a 6 year old inter-racial child figuring out the whole race thing (or for a child whose friends are now a different race than what she's been used to)? Or is she possibly reacting to racism she's been hearing from classmates, etc. Two years ago, the family moved to Connecticut and now almost all of my niece's classmates/friends are white. Until she was four, my niece lived in Africa where most of her friends were black and the minority were white. She gets exasperated and says she knows everyone is the same underneath and she loves her daddy, but she just doesn't like his skin color. When my sister addressed this and said, everyone is the same underneath and daddy's brown. My 6 year old niece (who has a white mom and black dad) has recently been saying, brown is not her favorite color. Advice about Biracial & Multiracial Families.Biracial 6-year-old doesn't like her skin color Related Pages.
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